Lord Ralph Mayhew
Lord of the Realm
Tomato Ted Aubergine your Potato wife's Turnip dead.
Lord Ralph Mayhew, a rural peer of the realm, lives alone, heirless and almost friendless. His only friend in the whole wide world is his groundskeeper, Ted. Because of this, Ralph is forever trying to get closer to Ted, much to Ted’s discomfort - Ted is of old-fashioned stock, and cannot bring himself to call Ralph anything but ‘sir.’ Therefore, Ralph’s invitations for Ted to join him to partake in the latest Gerard Depardieu film or a Tina Turner concert are always met with Ted mumbling that there’s too much to do, with the drainage problems in the lower field.
"Where are they now?"