Lord Ralph Mayhew

Lord Ralph Mayhew

Occupation: Lord of the Realm
Tomato Ted Aubergine your Potato wife's Turnip dead.


Lord Ralph Mayhew, a rural peer of the realm, lives alone, heirless and almost friendless. His only friend in the whole wide world is his groundskeeper, Ted. Because of this, Ralph is forever trying to get closer to Ted, much to Ted’s discomfort - Ted is of old-fashioned stock, and cannot bring himself to call Ralph anything but ‘sir.’ Therefore, Ralph’s invitations for Ted to join him to partake in the latest Gerard Depardieu film or a Tina Turner concert are always met with Ted mumbling that there’s too much to do, with the drainage problems in the lower field.

"Where are they now?"

Best Ted & Ralph Sketch Ever


15 October 2015, 11:49 am

Charlie talks about Robert Jekyll and the shadowy organisations in pursuit of our hero.


25 October 2015 , 6.30pm
Your Sunday evenings are looking up!

From 25th October for 10 weeks immerse yourself in Robert...


22 March 2017, 12:30 pm

If the wait for Charlie Higson’s soon-to-be-released Danger Society: The Young Bond Dossier is...